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A Blog for Men Who Have Sex With Men and Their Allies | www.tomofptown.com

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💪🌈 The Rise of the Himbos

on October 21, 2025

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🍵 Tea Rooms: The Secret History of a Vanishing Gay Subculture (and Why Good Sexual Health Still Matters)

on October 20, 2025

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Empowering Gay & Bi Men to Take Charge of Their Health

on October 20, 2025

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Get to the Bottom of It: Why Anal Pap Smears Matter for MSM

on October 17, 2025

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🌈 It’s Here! “Your Health, Your Power” Is Finally Launching!

on October 14, 2025

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The Biology of Attraction & Lust in Gay Men

on October 14, 2025

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A Book for Men Who Have Sex With Men on Navigating Health Care

on October 08, 2025

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Ghosting, Flaking, and the Chemistry of Desire

on September 23, 2025

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⚡ E-Stim Fetish Play: Pleasure, Power, and Staying Safe

on September 14, 2025

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Sex Addiction in Gay Men: Understanding the Difference Between Desire and Disorder

on September 10, 2025

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Tom of P-Town Health Blog: Prostate Cancer in Gay Men

on September 09, 2025

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Posts Raising Eyebrows

TRT, Shrinkage & Saving the Boys: A Friendly Guide to Testosterone, hCG, and Testicular Health

You asked, we answer: “I’m on testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) and my testicles look… smaller. Is my dose too high? When do I consider hCG? Do I have to ‘cycle off’ first?” Let’s de-mystify what’s happening below deck—and how to protect what matters. What’s actually going on down there? TRT gives your body the testosterone it’s missing. The trade-off: your brain senses plenty of T and dials down LH/FSH (the hormones that tell the testes to work). Lower LH/FSH → less intratesticular testosterone → spermatogenesis slows → the testicles soften and shrink a bit. That can happen even on reasonable doses ; it’s not only a “you’re overdosed” problem. First: sanity check your TRT Before changing anything: Confirm the diagnosis (symptoms + two low morning T levels). Check your targets: timing and trough total T, estradiol, hematocrit, PSA, and—if fertility matters—semen parameters. Titrate smartly: dose changes may fix...

💪🌈 The Rise of the Himbos

There’s a new archetype strutting across our social feeds, our gym mirrors, and sometimes our own reflection. Meet the Himbo —the charming, jacked, self-proclaimed “him-bo-dacious” guy who’s equal parts biceps, confidence, and blissful lack of seriousness. He’s the gay world’s answer to the influencer age: body-positive, flirty, and usually shirtless, armed with a smile that could power Provincetown for a week. 🧠 What Is a Himbo, Anyway? In queer pop culture, the Himbo has become a kind of camp icon—a sweet, sexy man who’s a little too hot for his own good and a little too silly to care. He’s the opposite of toxic masculinity: approachable, affectionate, and (usually) kind. Think of him as Ken if Ken were allowed to actually have fun and flirt with everyone at Tea Dance. At its best, the Himbo vibe is liberating —a rebellion against shame, intellectual elitism, and judgment. It says: “You don’t need to overthink everything. You can be hot, kind, and ...

Empowering Gay & Bi Men to Take Charge of Their Health

💪 Your Health, Your Power: Now Available for Pre-Order! At Tom of P-Town Health, we believe knowledge is power — especially when it comes to your body, your mind, and your sexuality. That’s why I’m thrilled to announce that our new book, Your Health, Your Power: A Healthcare Navigation Guide for Men Who Have Sex with Men , is now available for pre-order on Amazon! For the next four weeks, you can lock in your Kindle edition for just $9.99 — nearly 60 percent off the full price. 🧠 What the Book Is About Your Health, Your Power is more than just a health guide — it’s a road map for navigating the healthcare system as an MSM patient . Whether you live in a big city with LGBTQ-friendly providers or in a rural area where you have to educate your doctor, this book gives you the tools to take control of your care. Inside you’ll find: ✅ Plain-language explanations of the most common health issues faced by gay, bi, and queer men — from sexual health an...

Lingham Massage 101

Lingham (Sanskrit: liṅga , “phallus”) massage grew out of late-20th-century Neo-Tantra, blending ancient Indian energy philosophy with Western somatic sexology. In skilled hands it’s far more than a fancy hand-job: it’s structured body-work that can ease pelvic-floor tension, amplify erotic awareness, and—yes—deliver mind-bending orgasms. Below you’ll find its roots, how it’s evolved, the step-by-step “recipe,” and tips for finding a certified practitioner. 1 Where Did Lingham Massage Come From? Era Key developments 500 BCE – 1000 CE Classical Hindu & Buddhist Tantra emerge in India and Tibet, teaching that sexual energy ( Shakti ) can be transmuted into spiritual power. en.wikipedia.org 1970s (Berlin) German teacher Andro Rothe pioneers “tantra massage,” fusing Ayurvedic bodywork with Neo-Tantra breathwork. traditionalbodywork.com 1980s (USA) Sexologist Joseph Kramer coins and popularizes Lingam...

🍵 Tea Rooms: The Secret History of a Vanishing Gay Subculture (and Why Good Sexual Health Still Matters)

Before there were apps, before there were Pride parades, and long before gay bars could hang rainbow flags without fear, there were tea rooms . And no, we’re not talking about Earl Grey and cucumber sandwiches. “Tea room” was mid-century slang for the public restrooms—usually in parks, train stations, or university buildings—where gay and bi men met for anonymous sexual encounters. For decades, they were one of the only outlets for same-sex intimacy available to men living in an era of criminalization and social persecution. Hidden in plain sight, tea rooms were part of an underground survival network long before the word “community” was even safe to say aloud. 🕵️‍♂️ The “Tea Room Trade” Study: Peeking Behind the Stall Door In the late 1960s, sociologist Laud Humphreys conducted one of the most controversial (and fascinating) studies in American social science: The Tea Room Trade . Disguised as a “watch queen” (a lookout), Humphreys documented the coded rituals,...

Why Gay Men Still Struggle to Get Competent Primary Care

(…and what you can do about it—plus a sneak-peek at our upcoming book!) The Training Gap Is Real Most U.S. medical schools devote fewer than five hours of formal instruction to LGBTQ+ health across the entire four-year curriculum—far short of what’s needed for comprehensive care. A recent systematic review found that lack of LGBTQ+‐specific training remains “a major barrier” for clinicians, limiting both knowledge and confidence when treating gay and bisexual men. PMC A July 2025 study echoed the problem: even non-clinical staff (think front desk, billing) rarely receive cultural-competency training, increasing the odds of awkward—or outright harmful—encounters before you even see the doctor. ScienceDirect How Under-Prepared Providers Slip Up Common Miss What It Looks Like in Real Life Why It Matters Skipping sexual-behavior history “You’re in a monogamous relationship, right?” (asked without actually asking) Missed opportunities for PrEP, STI screeni...

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