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on February 05, 2025

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Cruising: A Tom Of P-Town History and Guide

A Brief History of Tearooms and Cruising For generations, gay men found one another in spaces that were hidden, coded, and often risky. “Tearooms” — public restrooms in parks, bus stations, and other transit hubs — became meeting grounds for men seeking intimacy at a time when homosexuality was criminalized and socially forbidden. Cruising extended beyond restrooms to parks, beaches, piers, and roadside rest stops, creating an underground geography of connection. These spaces were both liberating and perilous. They offered men, often married or closeted, a chance to explore their desires in a world that refused to acknowledge them. But because they operated in the shadows, tearooms and cruising spots were also easy targets for police raids, entrapment, blackmail, and violence. In the 1960s and 70s, undercover sting operations were common, and men arrested in these settings risked losing jobs, families, and reputations. Despite persecution, cruising has remained part of queer culture, a...

Tom of P-Town Health Blog: Prostate Cancer in Gay Men

Hey, hot men! Let’s talk about a topic that’s serious—but we can keep it lively, hopeful, and informed. 1. The “If you live long enough…” truth It may sound surprising, but autopsy studies show that prostate cancer becomes extremely common as men age. Over 40% of men aged 50+, and nearly 70% of those 80–89, harbor prostate tumors—most of which were never diagnosed in life( en.wikipedia.org ). As Dr. Kozlowski puts it: “Most men, if they live long enough, will probably develop prostate cancer. But most of those men will die of other causes”( ama-assn.org ). So yes, nearly all of us may get it under the microscope—but most won’t die from it. In fact, the American Cancer Society notes that about 1 in 8 men will be diagnosed in their lifetime, but only about 1 in 44 will die from it( cancer.org , cdc.gov , en.wikipedia.org ). Fun fact: men die with prostate cancer, not of prostate can...

Sex Addiction in Gay Men: Understanding the Difference Between Desire and Disorder

Sex is a natural and important part of life for many gay men. For some, it’s central to connection, identity, and pleasure. But when does a healthy sex drive cross the line into something that feels out of control—or even harmful? Let’s talk about sex addiction, how it differs from simply having a high sex drive, and what you can do if you’re worried about it. What Does “Sex Addiction” Mean? The term “sex addiction” isn’t a formal psychiatric diagnosis, but it’s widely used to describe patterns of sexual behavior that feel compulsive or uncontrollable. You might hear other terms such as compulsive sexual behavior or hypersexuality —all referring to situations where sexual activity starts to interfere with your health, relationships, work, or overall quality of life. How to Know If You May Have a Problem It’s not about how much sex you have—it’s about how sex impacts your life. Some questions to ask yourself: Do you find yourself planning your day around sex...

Ghosting, Flaking, and the Chemistry of Desire

Picture this: you’re on a hookup app. A guy messages you, says he’ll be in Provincetown this weekend, and is definitely interested in meeting up. You chat, there’s a spark, maybe even a little excitement about where things could lead. Saturday night rolls around, you see his profile pop up—he’s in town, the green dot confirms he’s online—and then… silence. No reply. No explanation. Just a digital ghost. If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. Ghosting and flaking are practically built into hookup culture. But why does it happen so often, even when both people seemed genuinely interested? The Biochemistry of Attraction A lot of this comes down to hormones and neurotransmitters. Testosterone fuels sexual drive, while dopamine and serotonin regulate pleasure and mood. When someone first messages you, their brain is firing off a cocktail of desire and anticipation. In that moment, their interest is real. But human biology is fleeting. Once another stimulus—say, the handsome redhead who j...

What is the best supplement for piggy gays?

One question I'm often asked by my gay male patients who are on the "piggy" side is what supplements they should be taking. In general if you have a healthy diet and are in good health I recommend only Vitamin D. However if you’re a gay man juggling more than one sex partner a week, your sexual‑health checklist should already include PrEP, maybe condoms, vaccinations, and routine STI screening. But there’s one herbal ally you might not have thought about: green‑tea catechins , the polyphenols most famous for powering your matcha latte. Below is why they’re uniquely relevant to men with an active roster—and how to use them safely. Why Catechins Make Biological Sense for You Antiviral activity against HIV The lead catechin, EGCG (epigallocatechin‑3‑gallate) , can bind with high affinity to the CD4 receptor—the same gateway HIV uses to enter T‑cells—thereby blocking gp120 attachment in vitro. That translates to reduced viral fusion and lower immune activation in lab...

Abdominal Liposuction and the Gay Male Body

Let’s talk about abs—specifically, about what happens when the gym, kale smoothies, and clenbuterol still can’t quite make that six-pack pop. Enter: abdominal liposuction . Once whispered about in locker rooms and Instagram DMs, liposuction has become an increasingly common part of gay men’s body sculpting toolkit. And yes, it’s not just for Real Housewives anymore. Why Gay Men Are Getting Lipo We live in a culture—especially in gay male circles—where body image can be a high-stakes game. Apps reward lean torsos. Fire Island favors the V-cut. It’s no surprise that many gay men pursue abdominal liposuction not because they’re out of shape, but because they’re fit and still frustrated by the stubborn layer of fat that no HIIT class can touch. There’s also the reality of aging, hormones, and genetics. Some of us store fat around the belly no matter how much we plank. Liposuction can be a tool for contouring—not a substitute for fitness, but a finishing touch. What Liposuc...

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